THE POWER OF A PAIR

THE LORD CALLED THEM "TWO BY TWO"

I have never given much thought to the word PAIR.  TWO of something...  To the simple mind it may only seem as that which is literally two of something.  But to a mother of twins, TWO, has a much different meaning.  The pairing of two things makes it stronger.  A bond.  A union.  Two ropes twisted together are stronger than one.  A team is stronger than a single man.  Having more than just one baby - a sister - another teammate - makes the battle of life easier to bear.  No man will climb a mountain alone.  He always takes a mate.  And even in the beginning Jesus called them TWO BY TWO....  Over and over again in the Bible Jesus refers to the Pair (James and John, Simon Peter and Andrew, Philip and Bartholomew, Thomas and Matthew).  He even called the animals on the Ark to come TWO BY TWO. For by having a pair, a teammate, a helper - more gets accomplished for the Glory of God.

LUKE 10:1 

1After this the Lord appointed seventy-two^a others and sent them two by two ahead of Him to every town and place where he was about to go. 2He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. 3Go! I am sending you out together like lambs among wolves.  

MARK 6:7

7And He summoned the twelve disciples and began to send them out in pairs, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits.

In everything we went through at the NICU - It NEVER occurred to me that I might not bring home both babies at the same time.  I will never forget the moment that one of the nurses informed me "you need to prepare your heart to take home Mills"...  and I was thinking... "yes... and Maryn"...  then it was a moment like no other.  I mean the rapture might as well have just occurred at that very second... she meant...  without Maryn...  

Take home Mills WITHOUT Maryn...  WHAT???

So my mind began racing... I immediately started with my defense: "um... that is NOT an OPTION.  They are a package deal.  Where there is one there is TWO.  They come together. I will not separate them.  I just will not.  The Lord put them here TOGETHER, and TOGETHER is how they will stay.....End of discussion"

This was not MY plan.  None of this was MY plan.  This entire screwed up situation was NOT MY PLAN.  Things could not be any worse.  Mark and I began to have differences of opinion on bringing them home separately.  He was looking at the bright side - which was we were getting to bring Mills home!!!  I, on the other hand, could only see the misery of this - we were leaving Maryn behind - ALONE and all by herself - without her teammate - without her sister - to fight this battle ALONE.  Looking back, Mark could see the big picture much clearer than I could.  I was still on the emotional carnival ride that would not stop to let me off.  I pleaded my case to anyone who would listen - Doctors, Nurses, family members, the lady in the billing department, even the night janitor on one occasion.

"They have to be together because they have always been together"

"If I take Mills home then that means Maryn stays ALONE"

"I can not bring Mills back into the NICU after discharge so therefore if I am with Mills then I can not also be with Maryn"

"Who is going to be with Maryn?"

"I cant stay at the hospital with Maryn if Im in Indianola with Mills"

"Mills is too weak to be exposed to a hotel room in Jackson"

"There is no way this will work...."

"My family is already torn apart, I will be on the road even more"

"They are making me choose between my girls"

All I could see was this poor innocent weak child getting left behind and what kind of mother was I to abandon my child at the hospital???

Then it happened.  We got that phone call.  The one that I had been dreading since that moment it was first brought to my attention.  Mills was coming home.  WITHOUT HER SISTER.  It was not an option.  Insurance was kicking her out.  She was well and strong and ready to come home.  She was eating and growing and maintaining her own body temperature.  My sweet Mills had crossed the finish line.  ....  But her sister had not.  Maryn was still on the feeding tube.  She had not even gotten off the tube yet.  Again, I gave myself the pep-talk.  "Cassey get yourself together.  This is not that bad....  I mean people have lost their lives on the shores of Normandy.  Somebody buried their mother today somewhere in this world.  And somebody got diagnosed with terminal cancer.  This is not that bad...."  But for me it was.  This was my Normandy.  Nothing seemed worse to me at that moment in my life. 

The hospital required us to "board" with Mills in an outpatient room the night before we brought her home.  They wanted to make sure that we could handle her all night by ourselves.  And, more importantly, they wanted to make sure that Mills could remain stable outside of the NICU.  We waited patiently in our room for her to pass all of her test:  car seat safety, hearing, temp check.  We had to take an infant CPR course and sign the NICU release papers.  They banded her foot with the alarm and carted her to our room.  It was our first time alone with our baby girl.  Suddenly, my heart began to see things differently...  I was getting to bring a baby home!!!

 Hindsight... it really was not that bad.  It allowed us to get adjusted to one baby again and break Rose in slowly to the big sister status.  It forced our family to stay at home and not be traveling back and forth to Jackson.  It allowed us to get to spend some one-on-one time with Millie before her sister arrived to steal her thunder.  It was a blessing all along (kinda? maybe?)....  It just didn't happen according to MY plan...  because I was not paying much attention to God's plan!  I wanted both of my girls to come home together - regardless of what God thought was best for them.  I am their mother - I KNOW BEST.... ???

Mills came home!!!!  Rose was in Heaven!

Loving her new little sister!

Over the course of the next week I went back to Jackson three times.  I would leave Indianola and rush down there just to get to spend a few minutes with Maryn.  A feeding here, a story there.  I could rock her a little, and she was getting better in a hurry.  Then the BIG day arrived...  Another phone call but this time it was the most JOYFUL of all phone calls.  Maryn was coming home too.  Finally, this hen was about to get all her chickens in the same hen-house.  I called Mark, packed our bags, and off we went...  Jackson bound to finally return home as a family of FIVE!!!  

Sweet Mills

Sweet Maryn

The girls in their going-home outfit

Hallelujah she says!!

I have come to realize that God did not give me twins.  He gave Maryn and Mills to each other.  Being part of God's Pair is their gift - not mine.  He foresees that in time they will need a teammate, they will need a better half, they will need strength from someone other than just a sister or a mother, they are special - and require a little extra.  

It is amazing how much the human spirit can grow and mature in just three short long months.  I look back at myself prior to this whole NICU experience and I hardly recognize the woman that I was then.  My Faith, my stewardship, my marriage, my trust, and my heart has reached an entirely new level.  Maybe, just maybe, all of this trial was for our family to solely depend on God.  I mean in all honesty, it is really hard to believe that the Lord is all you need until the Lord is all you have.  There is always a silver lining.  There is always Grace.  Sometimes, you just have to close your eyes and breathe.  

It has been such a JOY to have them both home.  They were just meant to be together.  I have always seen them as a package deal, but now I see them as God's package - tied with a golden ribbon.  I can not wait to see what the Lord has in store for this precious precious precious PAIR I get to call mine HIS.

"Surely I say to you, Where TWO or more are gathered in 

MY NAME, there among them I will be"

Mark 18:20