CAN I GET A HOORAY???
I feel like the first 2 trimesters flew by. I looked up and was already sitting at 30 weeks going "WOW, they are almost here!" However, these last two weeks have felt like months. Its finally WAY DIFFERENT than being pregnant with one. Nothing is the same anymore. I remember with Rose, at the very end how sweet and special it felt to have moving all around - we bonded in our own special way. With the twins, its really more like a love/hate relationship. The punches and jabs are not quite so "sweet" and it doesn't feel very special anymore. In fact, I really don't remember the special feeling. It went straight from flutters to pain. There is no more room. My body is overly exhausted. I feel like an 18 wheeler trying to make it up a hill with the gas gauge on Empty. Last Monday night the girls were actually kicking me so hard that I felt nauseous. Like I was car sick or had a bad case of motion sickness. I kept telling Mark that I felt like I was on a carnival ride that would not stop to let me off. I finally took a Benadryl to sedate their little booties. I'm sure that was not the ideal solution to the problem, but throwing up and getting contractions that lead to pre-term labor is not ideal either, so I made a judgment call - and it worked like a charm!!!!
Mark says that I am an emotional wreck these days. As much as I hate to admit it, he might have a point. Crying totally seems legit to any situation at the moment - I cry because my clothes don't fit (and if you think its impossible to outgrow maternity clothes, let me assure you it is, in fact, quite possible), I cry because the water in the kitchen sink wont get hot fast enough, I cry because Baby A is small, I cry because I'm happy I made it to 32 weeks and in the same breath I cry because I am miserable at 32 weeks, I cry because I don't even know why I cry.....
I physically can NOT get comfortable. Nothing seems to help with the discomfort. Julia brought me Josh's bean bag. At night I lay belly down on top of the bag to give my back a break - It works temporarily but nothing long term. I take multiple (usually two, sometimes three) baths each night trying to settle them down for bed. But then I usually get so exhausted bathing that many times it becomes pointless.
I am trying to look at things from the "glass is half full" perspective
(although its getting harder by the day).
Here is my list of Top 5 optimistic revelations:
I have not gained an insane amount of weight. I was really anticipating the dreaded 80 pounds or something, but no. My body has handled this pregnancy with as much class and dignity as any pissed off 31 year old body could. I am rather proud of my ability to carry these girls.
If the girls were born today they would be OK. I have successfully grown twins. Holy Smokes! I am a rock star!!! Yes, they may be in the NICU and they may be small, but they can finish the race!
I am not swollen. My face is not puffy, my legs are normal, and my wedding ring is still on. I can tell the last few weeks that my ankles are starting to swell (very minor) toward the end of the day, but after I put my feet up for about an hour they are back to normal.
I have not been put on bed rest. I am still working. 4 days - all day long. Its my motivation to save a little bit of money here and there to pay my dermatology bill at the end of this joy ride.
Maternity Leave falls over the Christmas holidays and what better time to take off work? Nobody comes to the dentist in December - Everyone is spending their money on Santa Clause. Usually Dec/Jan is our slowest month anyway. Plus, I get to hang out with family over the holidays with no restrictions on work. AND, another PLUS, I get to eat all kinds of Christmas treats without feeling guilty about it .... ya know?, because I just gave birth to twins!
Baby B - don't worry I asked if that was a tumor growing on her lip and it is not - supposedly it is in the background - its actually a body part of Baby A. I have decided it is so much harder to read a sonogram with two babies in there. Things always look mal-formed, but they are not, its just usually some odd extremity of the other baby that made its way into the picture.
ABOVE is my belly in the REST POSTION
BELOW is my belly in the ACTIVE POSITION
These girls can make a mountain from a mole hill... literally....
Now what about the little ladies ???
They are actually doing fine. Baby B is growing perfectly on track - exactly where a single baby should be. Baby A is a little behind in growth. She is measuring small but growing... just VERY SLOWLY. The doctors have been measuring the girls abdomen. Both girls have long bones and brain development that are concordant in growth. A small abdomen is the first indicator of IUGR (Intra Uterine Growth Restriction). It is very common in multiples and usually does not show significant signs until the third trimester. As long as Baby A is growing (even slowly) then we continue to move forward with the pregnancy. If she ceases growth or growth begins to regress then they will both be taken by section. At my last doctor's visit I was 31 weeks and 2 days. Baby B measured 31 weeks and 4 days (ahead of due date). Baby A only measured 29 weeks and 1 day. So, as you can see, she is clearly about 2 1/2 weeks behind on gestation. In one week, Baby B grew a total of 7 days and Baby A only grew 3 days. (I know this is hard to understand). This calculation is based on the ABDOMEN ONLY. This is NOT based on overall growth, which would include organ development and long bone growth, etc. It is not a major factor at the moment, but definitely something they are watching. I will go every week. They measure overall growth every other week and abdominal growth each week. I go back to the doctor on Wednesday and I will know a lot more on where we stand on growth because I should get a FULL SCAN again. So far, so good.
And on that note let me add this, I have had numerous people who express concern that I should eat more because that's why A is not growing..... I would just like it to be known that I have ZERO CONTROL over which twin gets the groceries. If it were up to me, I would eat 5 dozen donuts just for her, but once I swallow the food, I have no control over where the calories go. That would be like eating a piece of cake and telling your body to put the weight in your boobs not your butt..... You cant control where you gain weight. I am eating as much as I possibly can keep down, but please also keep in mind that my stomach is currently sideways in my esophagus because there is no room for it in its normal place. I am eating more calories and trying to consume more than I probably should, the girls are growing, I am growing, and we are doing the best we can given the circumstances.
Honestly, Mark and I are very blessed that we have made it this far with no complications, no bed rest, no hospitalizations, not contractions, no preterm labor.... The Lord surely had His hand in their conception and we trust He will have His hand in their delivery as well. If we weren't meant to have three precious girls, He wouldn't have so graciously given them to us. All the stress, worry, and body pain will soon be over. It wont be long before we get to meet these little bundles of surprises JOY.
